Holding On.

What can I say? Wow? Thank God? Because this didn't look like it will be a reality even today! God keep showing himself all the way! Alright,I know it feels like I'm shouting (I'm literally shouting in my heart! This blog happened TODAY!💃) so I will try to calm down and explain to you, why I'm this grateful and the wind that's blowing away the things I once knew and replacing it with a lot that I have to hold unto God to understand.

The burden for this blog was dropped in my heart as long as January with confirmation. I knew it was supposed to be birthed as fast as possible but it got DELAYED by a lot of resistance that came within now and then. First, it was procrastination that came from uncertainty (and my irresponsibility!),LOTS of emotional attack and finally, pushed through the resistance and picked today as the launch date.  The resistance came even  more stonger today. I woke up today to find my phone having issues. I couldnt bring it on, and I was supposed to launch this blog today. I didnt really think much to it. I prayed about it and felt led to go to my friend's place (outside school) and use their system. But then after the fellowship today, I didn't really think much about going outside school, so I decided to visit my friend; Joy in school and use her phone (I was just take the easy way out!). I got to her hostel, tried using her phone but it kept failing countless times. 

My resolve was becoming weak and I wasn't just sure whether I was supposed to launch the blog today or if I should launch it at all. A lot went through my mind as I sat outside the hostel that I began to look for affirmation from God...which God didn't fail to give me. I told Joy that I was certain this blog was supposed to be launched today. I don't know how, but today was supposed to be the launch date! She affirmed and encouraged me to head over to my Friend's place outside school though it was late (I mean it was already just few minute to 10pm).

I left for my friends' place and in a SINGLE attempt, here we are! Today was really a lot for me, a lot to digest and sort out and this story wasn't what I planned to share(not like I have something planned though!)But, I have to share what happened today most especially because of its peculiarity . 

That an idea or a promise is from God doesn't mean it won't have bumps on the way. As a matter of fact God gives us his words so we can hold unto it when the situation doesnt look like it's working  according to that word. I remember walking on the road and affirming some words. INDEED God and his word can be trusted. You're going to encounter resistance if you want to birth anything especially when it's something that God has placed within you. The enemy can't just sit still and let you be, no. You've to fight it and resist it. Our life as Christians is that of warfare. 

So, I'm also reaching out to you who have something that God has placed within you to birth but you've been delaying because of the resistance that comes in different forms. Fear of failure,  impostor syndrome, fear of not being accepted, unworthiness, even depression or financial limitations. This is me affirming what God has laid in your heart and encouraging you to FIGHT it. Fight it. Don't just sit and dwell in it, I had times I sat on lots of emotional attacks I had and that was part of the delay.

 I'm currently in a phase where things around me are changing with such fast pace that I'm trying to hold unto something and find my place in all of this. I hope it gets clearer...

 I will have a lot to sort but it's all for the good. Lets see where all this lead us to. It's surely in a good place. Today, it's just the first day and I'm only excited to see what this blog really will become. Bye.

 Dear, Lord. This blog didn't look like it was going to be possible today. It came to a point where I was doubting whether it really came from you, but you saw me through every moment uptil the birth of this. Thank you for showing up despite my weakness and desire to follow my will. Please, help me to see you in all that's happening currently. Help me to understand who and where I fit in the change taking place in such a pace around me. Help me , Lord.