The Re - defining.

 Long before now, I would hear people ask someone I really look up to, how she delivers her message and more often they expect her to talk about her pre or post speaking routines but I only began to see why that question is necessary most especially to speakers recently.

I've had different moments speaking as a Secretary from when I am pumped up with rigid faith in God's backing to the time when I am soooo scared that my voice was cracking and my body was visibly shaking and I'm beginning to understand and accept that I don't necessarily have to feel confident to have confidence in God's presence. It had made me more aware of the certainty of my strength failing me. I'm even more conscious of how much I NEED God's backing, so I desperately reach out for it. 

I still make mistakes off-stage but I love that every step of this process is expanding every part of me to my truest version. Today, when I went out to get bread in front of the boys'hostel, the woman said something that pounced on me when I asked why Coal city bread (a bread brand here in school) is scarce recently. She said "Coal city has expanded and going through a refining period due to that, which is why there's inconsistency in supply.' This is not the exact words she used but that caught me. 

I could hear the word churning within me and felt the Lord reaching out to me of what this phase of my life is through them. There's always a re-defining  moment at the beginning of every expansion.I heard "Follow my instructions, that's all you need to survive this re-defining." softly spoken within me. I'm learning...yielding.

Dear, Lord. I'm only grateful that you've brought me this far. For the expansion I don't even feel worthy for, thank you. Help me to yield. Help me to be obey whatever instructions that might come. Help me to be sensitive to your nudgings, prodding and leading when they come. Open up my channels that I may hear, Lord. Help me to be disciplined enough to obey. Lead me through this path, not my path. Not my ambitions but through the path that brings glory only to your name. In Jesus name, Amen!